Far From Boring…

I remember contemplating sobriety and thinking how fucking boring it must be.  I was sure I would just shrivel up and die with a tepid glass of fizzy water in my hand.  Oh how naive I was!

I’ve got so much excitement and energy for life now.  I paint, I write, I do yoga, I hike, I meditate, I go on retreats, I read, I take workshops, I go to kirtans.  And I do it with zest and zeal.

I go to a Buddhist Recovery meeting.  We meditate together and then  I hear from all of these young wise recovering souls that have found a new way of life at such an early stage.  I am happy for them.  There’s not a lot I feel led to say in these groups so I focus on allowing all of this heart energy, love and light that continues to build in me, radiate out.  I can bring this to any setting now.

It’s my new way of numbing out.  When things turn to a point of discomfort I allow the love and light to build and send it to the situation or the person.  It works like a charm.  Perhaps it’s avoidance, but I believe what  I’m actually avoiding is getting caught up in ego, fight or flight or any of those old patterns that I’ve been so used to.