I remember contemplating sobriety and thinking how fucking boring it must be. I was sure I would just shrivel up and die with a tepid glass of fizzy water in my hand. Oh how naive I was!
I’ve got so much excitement and energy for life now. I paint, I write, I do yoga, I hike, I meditate, I go on retreats, I read, I take workshops, I go to kirtans. And I do it with zest and zeal.
I go to a Buddhist Recovery meeting. We meditate together and then I hear from all of these young wise recovering souls that have found a new way of life at such an early stage. I am happy for them. There’s not a lot I feel led to say in these groups so I focus on allowing all of this heart energy, love and light that continues to build in me, radiate out. I can bring this to any setting now.
It’s my new way of numbing out. When things turn to a point of discomfort I allow the love and light to build and send it to the situation or the person. It works like a charm. Perhaps it’s avoidance, but I believe what I’m actually avoiding is getting caught up in ego, fight or flight or any of those old patterns that I’ve been so used to.
Beautiful reflection. Can you share where & when the meditation group meets?