I have spent most of my life being willing (eager!) to take on big projects. But it seems with recovery, meditation and perhaps aging that I am slowing down, being more intentional and not so grandiose in my endeavors. Take this greenhouse for instance.
When we bought our new home in the country it came fully equipped with this ginormous green house. I happen to have a black thumb which makes having a ginormous green house an exciting challenge (or perhaps a poor choice in recreational activities). Last Saturday I was ready to take on the project of overcoming my black thumb with this green house that is ridiculously large. I stepped in and immediately knew it was time to back up, regroup, and rethink this project.
Instead, I went to Lowe’s and bought a teeny-tiny starter kit.
It is 1-Square foot instead of 800 square feet. And the amazing thing is that a week later I actually have live, green things spurting up from seeds. It’s a miracle!
This is not the kind of thing I anticipated would change when I started meditating and working a recovery program. But ultimately what this type change does, is make my life much more fulfilling and manageable. And that is what I’m interested in these days. The grandiose, manic, big energy of the past feels very ego-driven and I am much more intrigued by challenging myself to stay focused in the present and be grateful for the smaller things in life. These little seedlings feel like a great accomplishment…just for today.