Vulnerability is the New Black

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Thanks to authors like Brene Brown and Glennon Melton, vulnerability is becoming in vogue, and I am personally thrilled.

These brave women are helping us get in touch with our true, raw, fragile selves in a shameless way.  They’re telling us it’s ok to not have it all together-all the time.  It’s ok to feel all those feelings that we really don’t want to admit (let alone actually feel).   Imagine if this really catches on and as women, we start being honest with ourselves and with each other.  “No, I’m not ok.  I’m scared as hell.  I’ve snapped at my kids for the past five nights and I can’t stand the sight of my husband and if I have to enter the grocery one more time, I may just take a baseball bat to the produce section and pull a Gallagher.”  

Maybe by admitting to ourselves and another what we’re really feeling, being witnessed and heard, it might just help it dissipate.  I’m hopeful.

I’m still working on vulnerability while it’s occurring.  I’m great at admitting my struggles after they are over and I’ve made it to the other side.  But catch me in the middle of one and you’ll see me guarded, protected and in fucking control.  One way to tell, is the veins in my temples and neck are bulging from holding it all together.  

Yes, I’m working on relaxing into vulnerability and perhaps even asking for help.  This is not something that comes easy, for many reasons.  First of all, I assume no one really has time or interest in my struggles.  Second, if I learned anything growing up it was stoicism.  Third, I don’t want to appear needy or unable to handle my own life.  And I’m sure there are a fourth, fifth, and sixth, but that’s enough.  

You can see it’s a topic that may take me a few decades to master.  In the meantime, let’s all wear as little or as much vulnerability as we can fashionably manage.  Let’s make it a classic that never goes out of style…like a pair of soft faded jeans that fit just right.

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